As some of you know, I have been very sick these last many weeks.  I was sicker than I have been in years, and in the darkest midnight hours I didn’t care if I lived or died. But as I lay on my couch with a fever that only God knows, I realized what a gift my illness was.

 

I struggled for many years with a chronic disease; fought it every step of the way. I was told that I would end up in a wheelchair within ten years and that this body would continue to attack itself, and close down. And yes, the medical profession still says no cure, even as my doctors try to understand why this body (which IS very cute btw giggles) appears to be cured. Go figure!!   And yes I still love to dance. Grin.

 

But I had an epiphany about 2 years ago.  I knew that even as I fought, and went traipsing from doctor to specialist and back again (illness as a career choice on another day!) there had to be a better way. So I stopped fighting, and gave my disease away.  Really I did.  But I also realized that the 30+ years I had struggled had been an amazing opportunity for me to learn many lessons.  What I learned is not relevant to anyone else, those lessons are MY truths, the essence of which I carry with me every day. I was given a HUGE gift and I am grateful.

 

But, like most of us, it seems I needed reminding of those lessons, a revisiting if you will, and so these last few weeks have given me the opportunity to really get it.  I always was a slow learner!

 

The most basic reminder?  Quit fighting. That simple.  Now when I am sick, I take the opportunity to reflect, to assess my priorities. To me, sickness now is a physical nudging that I need to take time out, regroup.  All of us get caught up in the daily grind of human endeavor but, for me, illness really is a stop sign on the map of this life.

 

I can almost hear some of you saying but..what about the illnesses that take our beloved children, our parents?  Well, I have been spared some of that agonizing lesson, but as I have heard some of you talk about the pain, sorrow of those terrible human losses, I also hear you talk about the lessons you have learned. The Tonys (thank you brat!) the Alainas, have taught those of you blessed to walk this life path with them many amazing lessons, shown you many amazing insights, as you crawled your way through the agony.

 

In the midst of your fresh grief there are no human words that will bring comfort. We ALL know this. As most of you have learned, even as the human body falls to illness, the soul lives on.  And that, by itself is an enormous lesson/gift, which you have generously shared.

 

As our human shells are battered and bruised, if we are really open, really lucky, we come to KNOW that the body may be bent, broken or gone, but the essence of us lives on.  We ARE each bright shining stars, and live on forever in the love of those we traveled this temporary plane with.  What a trip huh?

 

So, to all of you who I know are sick right now, relaaaaaaaaaaaaax, take two aspirin and call me in the morning. Ladynurse is ready!!! Oh, and embrace the lessons (and the nurse too if ya must smiles!)